Plundering the Romance Novel by Ionia Martin

Description from Amazon

A silly, satirical romp into the land of romance novels and pirate adventures, full of romance clichés and humour. This book is a short novella, just over 10k words.

Have you ever wondered what goes on in the minds and hearts of romance novel heroes and heroines? No? Good, because this book won’t be helpful with that at all.

If romance clichés drive you mad and you like Monty Python style humour, this may be the perfect book for you.

From the twisted mind of a sometimes writer and lifelong reader, you are certain to have less brain cells than you started with after reading this book.

Captain Stormy is the typical romance hero/villain archetype. He follows the Romance Hero Handbook to the letter, but he is about to figure out that nothing in his guidebook is going to prepare him for the trials he’s about to face.

Uncooperative heroines, lack of treasure, severely delayed sex scenes, a missing crew and an old man’s butt cheeks later, Stormy has a story to tell you.

Even pirates have bad days.

*contains some mature themes and language

My Review

★★★★★

It is apparently bad form to give a book 6 stars out of 5, so I guess I will just have to go with 5 stars out of 5. I am not happy about it though. It deserves 6. I want to give it 6.

If you like spoofs then you will love this. Ionia Martin, the highly regarded book reviewer, has combined her incredible talent as a writer with her incisive intellect and wit, and experience of a barrel load of romance novels, to produce a book that is a veritable joy to read.

‘I absolutely loved reading this book’, said I. ‘I am an undeniable fan of satire and lampooning, and this had me rolling in the aisles. I mean, really, my sides actually split. No, seriously I am in quite a lot of pain.’

Now it is possible that one may get a little annoyed on occasion, when reading certain romances, by that feeling of deja-vu, that we have heard it all before, or that it is like all of the other books that have gone before in that genre.

Well I tell you what. This one is something a bit different. Sure, it takes all of those romance cliches and plot devices that are the bread and butter of the, oft maligned romance novel, but it turns them on their head. Embracing each and every one of them, the author manages to weave a riveting, fun filled course through the Stormy waters of piratical romance.

The description indicates that this is a silly, satirical romp into the land of romance novels and pirate adventures, full of romance cliches and humour. And so it is.

I happen to think it is a lot more than just that though. I think that if you look a little deeper, then you will see the incredible insight required to create a work with this depth of understanding of the sacred lore of the romance novel.

An absolutely fantastic read that I cannot recommend highly enough. In fact I am going to go read it again, while you zip off to get your own copy.

Now go buy it. Now!

Amazon US

Amazon UK

Legends of Windemere: Prodigy of Rainbow Tower – released 31st July 2013

Having greatly enjoyed the first book in the series, I was pleased to see the release of the second book – Prodigy of Rainbow Tower, by Charles Yallowitz. Based on the first book, Beginning of a Hero, I highly recommend this. Very much worth reading. Here is some information regarding the release, although I am a little late to the party.

Cover Art Credit: Jason Pedersen Website: http://www.jasonpedersen.com/

Legends of Windemere: Prodigy of Rainbow Tower will be debuting on July 31st on Amazon.

Book Description:

The action-packed, humor-filled, dramatic sequel to ‘Legends of Windemere: Beginning of a Hero’.

Battling through a demonic assassin and an army of monsters, Luke Callindor has survived his time at Hamilton Military Academy. Now, Luke and his friends must leave the safety of the academy to escort Duke Solomon’s heir down the L’dandrin River and into the safety of the city of Gods’ Voice. Joining them for this journey is Nyx, a powerful caster apprentice of Rainbow Tower. With her talent for combat magic and her short temper, Nyx will prove to be a challenge for Luke and all of their enemies.

Who will survive the harrowing trip down the L’dandrin River? And, who will be the one to break Luke’s trust?

Goodreads Link for Prodigy of Rainbow Tower:

 http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18171173-prodigy-of-rainbow-tower

Since this is the second book in a series, here is where you can get the first part.

Legends of Windemere: Beginning of a Hero:

 http://www.amazon.com/Beginning-Hero-Legends-Windemere-ebook/dp/B00BL9GBU2/

Bestiary of Blatherhorn Vale by Charles E Yallowitz

This is one of the very few ebooks that I have actually bought, much preferring the feel of a solid book in my hands. However, having already read ‘Beginning of a Hero’ by Charles Yallowitz, author of the excellent blog Legends of Windemere, I decided to acquire the Bestiary of Blatherhorn Vale, sooner, rather than later. I was not disappointed.

This is a wonderful collection of poems about the creatures that inhabit Blatherhorn Vale. The variety of wildlife in this area is immense and could likely only survive in somewhere as remote and inaccessible as Blatherhorn Vale, where they are undisturbed by human activity. The book provides an astonishing variety of descriptions of these creatures.

I really enjoyed reading this. I loved the design of the book, the cover art really giving the feel that the book had been through a lot. As battered and torn as it is, it must have taken immense effort to recover this revealing notebook. Whether these are true notes or the ramblings of a madman? I think I will choose to believe in their authenticity and that these wondrous creatures do indeed exist in the mysterious land of Blatherhorn Vale.

If you like thoughtful, imaginative descriptions of wondrous, mythical creatures, then this is certainly one for you. A most enjoyable read. It is also short enough that it can be read in one sitting allowing you to truly appreciate the imagination that went into creating all of these creatures.

Beginning of a Hero – Legends of Windemere by Charles E Yallowitz

I recently finished reading ‘Beginning of a Hero’, first part of the Legends of Windemere series by Charles Yallowitz. As it happens, I read this very quickly, for one simple reason. It was enthralling. I felt compelled to keep going, constantly wanting to know what happened next. Unfortunately I had to stop to leave for work, and with only a few pages remaining, it was extremely difficult to put it down. I kept saying to myself just one more paragraph, just one more page. Then I was very nearly late for work and spent the rest of the day waiting to get the chance to complete it.

Please do not be deceived by the title of this post however. It is not my intention to write a review of this wonderful book. There have been a number of reviews written about this book recently that have done the job far better than I could. In particular Ionias review is excellent, albeit with an insanely long title and is well worth reading. I do intend to add a quick review and recommendation to Amazon, and probably to Goodreads too.

I did want to make it known to everyone how much I enjoyed this book though. I thought that this book was great and I really liked many of the characters finding myself heavily invested in them from the beginning of the book.

The ending leaves a lot of unanswered questions for me and a real desire to know what happens next. I am eager for the sequel. So Charles, fantastic job, and when is the sequel likely to be out? I am waiting in anticipation.