F*cking, F*ck, F*ck, F*ck!

Check out Cuss ‘n’ Color, the new, truly adult coloring book from J and I publishing, with illustrations by Ionia Martin.

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J and I publishing (click to visit our spanking new blog–no, not new spanking blog…dirty minds) has been busy. I apologise that I haven’t been around much answering comments and dropping in to see how things are going, but I’ve been creating another Ionia masterpiece. (Really I’ve been messing around with art supplies like a little kid in kindergarten.)

For those of you who have one of those days recently, or know someone who has, here’s a little something fun to do. Sorry, Chris. I’ve tried to curb the swearing, but it is an addiction.

51rokqwhgbl-_sx385_bo1204203200_Amazon US

Amazon UK

J and I Publishing Author Page (We have tons more color books and this is the only truly adult one…kittens, puppies and all things innocent in the others.)

Ever just have one of those days where you want to randomly shout swear words but resist because you are at work or…

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Villains V. Anti-heroes: What’s the difference?

Feeling villainous? Excellent advice for writers.

readful things blog

What? Why do you people always expect me to have an answer?

Kidding…

Villains are the ones that you love to hate. They are eyeball glue for fiction readers. Seriously–want to ensure that the reader will keep turning pages? Give them a well designed villain and an equally matched hero, and they will finish your book and get that Kindle pages read graph to sky-rocket.

When we think about the basic set up of a novel, what do we think of? Hero + Villain = story? Most of the time. Let’s look at that a bit closer.

Most people go that route because it is a less risky formula. It is easy, accepted and authors choose it for those reasons. The likeable protagonist is common because:

*The reader can identify with them easily and put themselves in the character’s place.

*The character embodies all the good things about ourselves and…

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Tits and Bobs and perfectly passionate poetry

Some great ideas here.

readful things blog

Nope, not a typo.

A couple things to cover. First of all, I can’t stop thanking people for all they have done for me since releasing my book last week. Carmen Stefanescu rocked my world this morning with her awesome and unexpected promo on her site, which you can find here. http://shadowspastmystery.blogspot.ro/2015/07/guest-promo-ci-ionia-martin.html?m=1 I hate to admit that I cry, but I did.

Thank you Carmen. Love you.

Also huge thanks to people who left a review on Amazon. I was so excited I nearly peed.

Second, some questions and a few declarations.

I have new respect for all of you indie authors. I have been writing and publishing for years under a couple of different pseudonyms and have always had a publishing house behind me. Even when I put out some previous “indie” novels, I had other people working on promoting and covers and such. I didn’t do it all…

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Plundering the Romance Novel by Ionia Martin

Plundering the Romance NovelPlundering the Romance Novel by Ionia Martin

Description from Amazon

A silly, satirical romp into the land of romance novels and pirate adventures, full of romance clichés and humour. This book is a short novella, just over 10k words.

Have you ever wondered what goes on in the minds and hearts of romance novel heroes and heroines? No? Good, because this book won’t be helpful with that at all.

If romance clichés drive you mad and you like Monty Python style humour, this may be the perfect book for you.

From the twisted mind of a sometimes writer and lifelong reader, you are certain to have less brain cells than you started with after reading this book.

Captain Stormy is the typical romance hero/villain archetype. He follows the Romance Hero Handbook to the letter, but he is about to figure out that nothing in his guidebook is going to prepare him for the trials he’s about to face.

Uncooperative heroines, lack of treasure, severely delayed sex scenes, a missing crew and an old man’s butt cheeks later, Stormy has a story to tell you.

Even pirates have bad days.

*contains some mature themes and language

My Review

★★★★★

It is apparently bad form to give a book 6 stars out of 5, so I guess I will just have to go with 5 stars out of 5. I am not happy about it though. It deserves 6. I want to give it 6.

If you like spoofs then you will love this. Ionia Martin, the highly regarded book reviewer, has combined her incredible talent as a writer with her incisive intellect and wit, and experience of a barrel load of romance novels, to produce a book that is a veritable joy to read.

‘I absolutely loved reading this book’, said I. ‘I am an undeniable fan of satire and lampooning, and this had me rolling in the aisles. I mean, really, my sides actually split. No, seriously I am in quite a lot of pain.’

Now it is possible that one may get a little annoyed on occasion, when reading certain romances, by that feeling of deja-vu, that we have heard it all before, or that it is like all of the other books that have gone before in that genre.

Well I tell you what. This one is something a bit different. Sure, it takes all of those romance cliches and plot devices that are the bread and butter of the, oft maligned romance novel, but it turns them on their head. Embracing each and every one of them, the author manages to weave a riveting, fun filled course through the Stormy waters of piratical romance.

The description indicates that this is a silly, satirical romp into the land of romance novels and pirate adventures, full of romance cliches and humour. And so it is.

I happen to think it is a lot more than just that though. I think that if you look a little deeper, then you will see the incredible insight required to create a work with this depth of understanding of the sacred lore of the romance novel.

An absolutely fantastic read that I cannot recommend highly enough. In fact I am going to go read it again, while you zip off to get your own copy.

Now go buy it. Now!

Amazon US

Amazon UK

Mirror Interview # 4 Rishika S.

Another fun mirror interview in the fourth installment of this excellent interview series.

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Thank you so much Rishika, for joining us on Readful Things today. It is so much fun to get a glimpse into the mind of an author and learn about their process. If you would like to do your own mirror interview, please email me from my contact me page here on the blog. Thanks everyone, and please take a moment to check out her work and spread the word!

Tell us a little about you and your work.

My name is Rishika and I publish under the name of Rishika S. My first piece of published fiction is One Chance. It’s a short story based around the life of a married couple that is torn apart by deceit. The story follows their path to finding trust and love again. A Bond Unbroken is another love story, and is based on the reunion of two people who had been greatly…

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Cart before the horse (Not always a bad thing)

Want some hints on marketing your latest, greatest mastepiece? Then check out this informative post. And yes, I know I need to get up off my arse and post some orignal work on my blog soon.

readful things blog

As any author will tell you, writing the book is the easy part. After that comes the fun of editing, cover design, book blurbs and the ultimate in evil, MARKETING.

Most authors are already aware of how this all works, but there is a question that many authors don’t think to ask until they are finished or nearly finished with their books. When should you start marketing your work?

Beginning the first stages of marketing before your book is complete can be an important factor in success. I’m not saying you should write your first sentence and then begin pushing the book. Sometimes books become something other than what we intended them to be, plus having a general idea of word count and the ability to put together a book blurb and some excerpts for promotional use is necessary.

There is no exact right time for promo, but

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